The Best Way to Teach and Manage People

Teaching and managing people are complex skills that have existed since the dawn of mankind. Yet, today’s teaching and management environments are still evolving even within centuries old institutions like universities and the military.

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What is the Best Way to Teach or Manage People?

Do the best methods of educating and managing people fall into the push category (structured, top-down, transfer of expertise, incentives leaning toward punishment) or the pull category (bottom up, employee led, student led, incentives leaning toward rewards)? Could the optimal approach be a mix of push and pull, or something quite different?

One could argue that the best way to teach or manage is based on how the recipient learns or flourishes. But when we need to teach and manage large groups, it’s challenging to optimize for individuals. One of the biggest challenges in teaching or managing is scale. That’s why people talk about student-teacher ratios and it may be why some organizations have many layers of management.

Breakthroughs occur with intrinsic learning and motivation. I have recognized a few techniques that drive intrinsic behavior. The best news is that there are techniques to drive intrinsic behavior and these techniques scale relatively well. I didn’t invent these components, but put them together and I call this system The Know-Nothing Method of Non-Management and Zero Teaching. The components are:

• Askathon Mode
• Be Stingy With Expertise
• Answer with a Question
• BYOS (Bring Your Own Solution)

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Link Between Teaching and Managing

We will discuss this system and its components later in the article, but first I want to discuss why I combine teaching and managing into one article? The main reasons are that 1) many roles in life combine both skills and 2) both skills are similar and intertwined. Roles that require both management and teaching skills include being a boss or a parent.

The need for both skills may be less obvious in other roles.  For example, teachers are supposed to teach. Most people, including some teachers, don’t think of managing people as their primary job function.  However, great teachers excel at managing for success. They not only manage students, parents, faculty, administration and staff, but they take a more enlightened approach to the teaching process and managing their profession at a higher level. Other roles that require both teaching and people management skills might include consultant, service provider, coach, tutor, employee, entrepreneur and business owner.

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Why are People Management and Teaching So Challenging?

People are incredibly diverse in the way they learn and respond.  It’s no wonder we often complain about our bosses or our employees or even vent about our parents or our children. Interpersonal skills are often the most difficult skills to master in business, education and personal relationships. Dealing with people can be rough.

When we force fit the various teaching or management methods we have experienced or learned onto people within an expansive learning spectrum, our chance of success is low.

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Signs That Your Management or Teaching Approach Is Not Working

In a conversation I had with a close friend and parent of high schoolers, he shared a common story of how his youngest son was changing from a happy and outgoing young boy to a more reserved and analytical young man. It became less common for the son to open up to his parents, and my friend recognized he had to make a change when his son said “you guys never listen to me.”

Managers and teachers need to be good at collecting feedback on the fly and through observation. They need to proactively seek cues from their students and employees. The following cues may be indicators that a change is required.

These are all signs that the recipient is not feeling it – not picking up what you’re laying down. The problem might not be the advice or the knowledge, it might be the provider-recipient teaching model or management model. Effectiveness lies in a transfer of inspiration rather than just a transfer of facts or knowledge.

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The Golden Rule Needs to be Broken When Teaching, Managing (and Parenting?)

Teachers and managers teach the best way they know how, which is either 1) the way they were taught or 2) the way they want to be taught. This is one case where the gold rule needs to be broken.

Rather than teach the way you would want to be taught, find the way your student responds best.

This can be challenging when there are many students, but there is a solution that we’ll get to later. Does the same phrase apply to management?

Rather than manage the way you would want to be managed, find a way to manage the way your employee responds best.

Yes, it seems to apply in theory. What about parenting?

Rather than parent the way you would want to be parented, parent the way your child responds best.

Consider it, interpret it, digest it.

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Personalized Teaching and Management are Not Scalable

Managers or teachers are challenged to deliver messages effectively and efficiently to many recipients. Some teachers prefer to address the lowest common denominator while others gravitate toward the best and brightest in the class. Managers feel it may be unfair and potentially illegal to manage employees differently. Teaching and managing at scale will inevitably benefit some while leaving others behind. Is there a better way? The answer is yes, but before we get into it, let’s consider positive and negative reinforcement.

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Which is Better, Positive Reinforcement or Negative Reinforcement?

For teachers, managers, parents and coaches, communication strategies may include positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, or both. Which is better? The answer is neither because they are essentially the same. That which is negatively reinforced leads people to understand that the opposite is good, and vice versa. Reinforcement from one person to another is an external feedback mechanism. External feedback or extrinsic influences have limited effectiveness. 

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What is Superior to Positive or Negative Reinforcement?

People tend to retain and apply lessons they learn themselves. Neither positive or negative reinforcement from others are as effective as intrinsic learning experiences. If this is true, how can someone help their student, employee, child, or athlete without reinforcement? The answer is by questioning in a way that enables the subject to draw on their own experiences, senses or intuition (even at a young age) to discover the solution. Let’s dive into the components of The Know-Nothing Method of Non-Management and Zero Teaching.

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Askathon: Guiding Someone to Their Own Solution

In a networking group I attended, there was an interesting exercise where a business owner would volunteer to be vulnerable and share a problem they had been wrestling with. Everyone else’s job was to help the business owner find the solution. However, no suggestions or sharing were allowed. Group members had to resist the urge to coach, mentor, opine or implore. In this interaction, they “simply” had to ask the questions that would help the subject discover their own answer.

I say “simply” in quotes because of how difficult it was for everyone, many with great wisdom or deep expertise, to withhold their guidance and opinions. Use non-stop questioning, an ask-a-thon, to allow students or employees to learn or problem-solve intrinsically.

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Askathon: Guiding Someone to Discovery

The concept of helping someone by providing only questions and no answers is not a new concept. A modern day podcast references a classic 1970s book “The Inner Game of Tennis.” The author, a tennis coach, learned through years of experience that despite his vast tennis knowledge, the less he taught and the more he asked, the better the players’ results.

For example, rather than tell the player exactly how to toss the ball up for a serve – how high, the position of the ball, the spin, the position of the feet, what to do with the racket, etc., he would simply ask the player to toss the ball up for a serve and hit it so that it landed in the right place. He would do this over and over and each time he might ask “how did that feel,” “what do you think you should try next,” “was that better or worse,” etc. At no point would he interject advice from his vast knowledge bank. He made no statements. He only asked questions.

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Be Stingy With Expertise

An Askathon is a marathon of questions. It is not interlaced with nuggets of wisdom, but is simply a continuous string of questions guiding the subject to an intrinsic learning experience. Being stingy with expertise goes hand-in-hand with asking a long series of questions. Restraint is required on the part of the expert, the teacher, the manager or parent.

This may seem to be a waste of expertise and life experience. After all, teachers, mentors, managers and parents have so much to share. However, it is exactly that wisdom that can be harnessed to formulate the right questions. This does not mean the questions should be leading questions that take the subject to where the expert wants them to go. The expert should have no ego which will block the experts’ ability to observe. The expert uses their wisdom, not to lead, but to ensure that enough of the right questions are asked. The recipient is not the target of a transfer, but an individual who must develop their own unique wisdom.

Does this mean the expert’s wisdom is never shared directly, but only shared indirectly through a process of comprehensive questioning? For the most part, yes, but not absolutely. Once the recipient makes progress toward intrinsic learning, the recipient may have many questions for the expert. This may be a time to share wisdom, or it may be a time to ask more questions of the recipient. The expert must have restraint and learn to be very stingy with expertise.

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The Power and Scale of Questioning

Leading with questions is a great way to parent, mentor, teach, and even sell. It is fair and equitable across kids, employees, students and clients. It is tailored yet scalable. It leads to breakthroughs that last because it draws out intrinsic learning. Signs that it is working include the following. Teachers and managers should proactively seek these signs.

• A smile
• Seeing a weight lifting away
• Many questions coming back at you

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Answer with a Question

This technique is the beginning of a fresh new Askathon. It is highlighted because it is the most difficult situation for an expert to exhibit restraint. Most people answer questions with answers. Questions asking for one’s expertise are often well received because people like to share their expertise.

In certain roles such as sales or customer service, people are taught to respond to questions by asking clarifying questions before rushing in with responses or solutions. Similarly, teachers, managers, parents and experts should practice answering questions with clarifying questions and guiding questions that lead to intrinsic learning and problem solving by the person who asked the question in the first place.

This can be annoying for the questioner that just wants an answer or advice. But the most valuable employee or the most capable child will be developed with guidance, not answers served on a golden platter.

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BYOS (Bring Your Own Solution)

I once worked for a CEO whose mantra was “Don’t bring me problems, only solutions.” Read The 2 Best Mantras for Managing People. This mantra was very effective on many levels. It trained employees to not complain. It engaged and empowered employees to think and create. It was also an honest admission that the CEO did not have all the answers. It created a sense of urgency. Can you see how this technique could be tailored to a mentoring or parenting relationship?

The CEO made this mantra a cornerstone of the company culture. It didn’t take long for employees to catch on. It reduced the number of mindless interactions the CEO was forced to endure. Everybody began to think more critically and creatively. Granted, some solutions were half-baked, so this led our CEO to a follow-up mantra to the solutions he received from employees “Great, you’re in charge. Can you make it happen?” The CEO began to experience higher quality interactions and well-thought ideas. It protected the CEO from getting sucked into what employees were hired to do and were capable of doing. It also reduced the number of half-baked solutions that the presenter could not confidently undertake.

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The Enlightened Coach Yields Enlightened Students

In summary, the core techniques of The Know-Nothing Method of Non-Management and Zero Teaching are:

• Askathon Mode
• Be Stingy With Expertise
• Answer with a Question
• BYOS (Bring Your Own Solution) – one you can successfully execute

The beautiful thing about empowering and questioning is that students become more aware of the learning process. The coach’s job is to question the student constantly and broadly to ensure the student doesn’t settle too quickly or land narrowly on suboptimal solutions.